6 months old today

So I couldn't sleep last night and I was beyond tired, but all I could think about was my little pumpkin will be 6 months old tomorrow. And now here we are and it's 3am - who ever though I would want to be up at this time since it's my normal daily schedule but not on Sundays usually.
So where do I even began about how my whole world changed when this little guy came into our world. Let's rephrase that a little.One day we were just two crazy kids talking about moving in together,he moved with me to LaJolla and 2 months later he put a ring on my finger,we graduated college, we moved a few times, got married, traveled a bit and saw some amazing places, moved again and went to nor cal and when we came back to so cal, we talked about having babies...
We said "if it happens it happens" and then it happen ( you can figure that out). Next thing we knew we were telling our friends and family were expecting a baby! The next 9 months went by in a flash and i mean in a flash.Who would have ever thought 9 months could truly fly by like that. So leading up to the last 8 weeks we moved to Oceanside and got a 3 bedroom townhouse and then Soon enough I was a whole week out and the doctor keep telling me any day now... Well I made it up to the last second at work and I worked all weekend long then on Sunday night Sept. 20th I called Jonathan as he was on his way home and said I think it's time...I'm going into labor. My labor was a killer. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and I hope that you have it easy because I sure didn't.By Monday Morning he was finally here, and he was so perfect.

( SEPTEMBER 21, 2009 )

Our whole world had changed right at that moment. You know how people say "a baby changes everything". Can that simple phrase be any more true? Jonathan and I thought...back when we were just those two crazy kids, that if we could have made it this long together 12 years, being hard workers, and always having a loving friendship between us, we could do anything... Piece of cake, easy, no problem, why are we even second guessing ourselves "can we really do this"? It's soooo not that easy. And I TRULY MEAN THAT... Now let me be clue you in on a few things, Ashton James is the most happiest baby you will ever see and I mean this. You've read all my blogs about his funny and loving disposition. Yes it did take him some time to learn to sleep though the night but he didn't cry all night he just wanted to ply or hang out. And Yes boy am I so lucky to not have in unhappy baby or one who likes to scream. He really is all of this and more. Jonathan and I are so proud and blessed to be his parents." I'm talking about how difficult the first few (or six) months were on us. " The parents, as you would say !!! Now I'm tell you I'm the one who is beyond organized and work like a crazy women but always had time for my Bubba and family and our home. This is us- The people that thought we had it all together.
It's not easy, when you have a baby. It's actually kind of difficult. Imagine that? Having a baby makes life and marriage a little harder. What a concept! RIGHT??? The good news is that we are smart and loving people, and we are figuring things out one day at a time. I've learned more about myself as a person than ever before. Mostly I've been reminded of why I married the man I did and what I love about him. Through the struggles and occasional "freak outs" (on both of our sides) he's still my bubba. But wait... He also is a DADDY now and not just my bubba. I can only pray he feels the same about me. We are still best friends and all things considered, darn great parents too. The three of us are starting to fit together like perfect little family of three. I'm starting to feel like maybe I was really meant to be a mom. I always wanted to be but was so worried that i would never measure up to be the mom my mother is. She is beyond an amazing women and I look up to her each and every day.It's an amazing thing and it's a beautiful feeling, and the more I embrace it, the more confident I feel about raising this hansom little boy. I truly understand that being a mom is more then unconditional love from the moment you see them and the second they come in to your arms.