being back at work and missing my pumpkin

I cant even began to describe how hard this has been for me to go back to work. So first off if you want to have a baby and or your pregnant and not sure if you want to stay home or go back to work, MY VOTE, is stay home. Trust me.... It's not easy having to walk away every morning and kiss him good bye.

You began to get all worked up and excited about being pregnant and having that little bundle of joy on the way. You think and discuses with your hubby how things are going to be and how much you want to give and do for them. That you don't even realize how hard it will be to go back to work. I started to think about it right at the very end of my pregnancy and I remember talking with my mom and I got a little emotional but I was like, I love what I do, I know I can do it all and be fine. My mom said you just wait, it will be way harder then you think. And of course Mom's are always right. It was beyond harder then what I could have ever imagined.

So I woke up this morning after are cat nap last night to get ready for work at 3:30am and then I changed him and feed him and kissed him good bye and layed him back down to sleep.I then took a deep breath and went to say good bye to my bubba and got in the garage and began to get teary eyed. I told myself don't do that you will make it only harder. All be off to tackle the region at work and will have so much going on all be fine. So like Friday I cried all the way from San Diego on the 5 free way to the 605. and today I did so much better I only cried tell mission viejo where my office is. So I touched up my face and took a deep breath and put a smile on my face and walked through the rain into my office and began tackling the holiday fashion season with all of my Fields and stylists and started to get back on track. From floor sets, window displays, conference calls, touch bases to installations and payroll reports.I was swamped with getting everything cough up for everyone and getting them the tools they need to finish the holiday season on a great note. Then Jonathan called me at 7:15am to tell me he was up like normal and eating and playing like he does. (or I should say like we would do every morning) So he slept 2 hours and was ready to go.

I miss all the time I had at home with him, but the time i get now means even more to me!!!